"I really wanted to question myself, question my very own character," said Indian cricketer K L Rahul as he thought about the tempest activated by his and Hardik Pandya's chauvinist remarks on a TV appear.
Rahul and India partner Pandya were temporarily suspended by the BCCI for their free chat on ladies on the show. The Committee of Administrators (COA) gave the investigation into the issue to the Supreme Court-designated BCCI Ombudsman and a choice is as yet anticipated.
Weeks from his 27th birthday celebration, Rahul talked about what he suffered after he was sent back before the ODI arrangement in Australia.
"...it was hard as I am not used to individuals despising me. For the first week or 10 days, I really wanted to question myself, question my own character. The hardest thing was to know whether really you are an awful individual, when so much has been expounded on you," Rahul told 'India Today'.
It was when Rahul quickly cut himself off socially as he might have been "terrified to confront" awkward inquiries from pariahs.
"I was actually frightened to venture out as I wasn't prepared. In the event that someone would make inquiries, I didn't have an inkling what I would reply. I would go for training, return home and be on my playstation as I wasn't just prepared to confront individuals," the articulate batsman said.
Rahul conceded that the marvelousness and razzmatazz that encompasses the Indian group has quickly abandoned him separated with his foundations and his well-wishers.
"When you begin playing for the nation, you are so occupied, you are dependably moving, overlook who your actual companions are or how imperative family is. I have been out and about for quite a while and I haven't had a break.
"In this way, you sort of have a distinction with family or companions. You sort of float away, don't set aside a few minutes for companions," he said.
One of the three Indian players, who has a global hundred over all configurations, said there was a point he felt that the individuals who are physically there with him are his genuine companions.
"You share a great deal with them however you overlook that there are individuals back home, who have seen your battles, seen you when you were nothing. They have helped you since they loved the genuine you. You rediscover your associations with many individuals," he said.
Nonetheless, he was appreciative to the Indian colleagues and the care staff, who were there amid his attempting times.
"Notwithstanding when I needed to leave Australia and return home, there were many individuals who came up to me and put an arm around the shoulder and said 'It's alright, we have all been there and we have every single committed error, and we have all needed to confront disciplines in the way'."
The senior individuals from the Indian group had one guidance for him: "Endeavor to keep aside the contempt that you are accepting from web-based social networking and don't question yourself."
"So much has been said by individuals, that you begin addressing yourself. In any case, at that point family, companions, colleagues, investigated me regarding what I was experiencing."